


Broken Glass

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Complicated Relationships, Extra Treat, Force Bond (Star Wars), Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Redemption, Multi, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Stranded, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-06 13:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12818742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: Rey doesn’t dream of the past, like Poe does. She dreams of the future. She dreams that she is happy.When she wakes, she always knows it wasn’t true.





	Broken Glass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [virusq](https://archiveofourown.org/users/virusq/gifts).



> Title from Green Day.

“You’re dreaming of him again,” Rey says quietly, leaning her head against Poe’s.

She can almost feel the warm exhale of breath he sighs out. “That obvious?”

“Your thoughts are too loud. I’m sorry, but they keep me up.” Rey tries not to wander in Poe’s head; she knows how it bothers him. Sometimes it’s a bit beyond her control.

“I’m sorry.” Poe presses heavily into her, as though seeking the comfort of touch and proximity. “We shouldn’t have left him.”

“We did all we could. He made his choice.”

“I should have tried harder.”

“Your heart is so big, Poe, but you can’t take blame for someone else’s actions. He makes his own choices, as we do.”

“Your heart is big enough; you love me, don’t you?”

Rey elbows him in the side. “That takes a lot of effort.”

Poe tilts his face so he can kiss her cheek. “You dream of him, too.”

Rey is quiet. They sit together for a long time.

-

Rey doesn’t dream of the past, like Poe does. She dreams of the future.

She dreams that he came with them, when Poe extended his hand. She dreams that they have a life together, beyond all of this, beyond the war.

She dreams that she is happy.

When she wakes, she always knows it wasn’t true.

-

_They found him on a swelteringly hot jungle planet where even breathing seemed to make you sweat. It wasn’t the first time (or even the second, or the third), but it felt like the first time, after. Rey had her lightsaber to his throat before she realized he wasn’t fighting back; he passed out almost before she could acknowledge it._

_She and Poe argued._

_They fixed him, together._

_He was less grateful than Rey felt they were owed._

_Rey spent a good deal of the time wanting to smash his face in; maybe he was into it because he sure did love to provoke her. Poe seemed to vacillate between wanting to watch her do it and telling her she shouldn’t._

_Sometimes she thought Poe might do it himself._

_In rare moments alone sometimes Poe spoke haltingly of their past. Poe hadn’t known it was him, on Jakku, on the_ Finalizer _. He hadn’t known until later. Rey wasn’t sure if that made it hurt less or more and she was too afraid to ask._

_He was different than she thought._

_They spent so much of the time being angry. It was so hot you could barely breathe, a disgusting wet heat that Rey wasn’t used to, and they all were fed up with being useless, far from where they were needed._

_It was maybe an inevitability that they ended up a sticky, messy tangle of limbs, teeth marks on wrists and mouths on throats and finger-shaped bruises on hips._

_They still argued. They were still angry and hurt. Rey still wanted to smash his face in, and most of the time she wanted to do it for Poe._

_But when they were finally able to leave that swelteringly hot jungle planet, Poe extended his hand to him and he didn’t take it._

_-_

This planet is cold. Rey lies bundled up, curled around Poe, and thinks she will never be warm again.

 _It would be warmer with three,_ she thinks to herself, and then hates that she even thought it.

He chose to go another way. He chose to go back. He deserves not one second of her thoughts. When she sees him again she will not hesitate to do what she has to.

His body burned so hot, and his hair was like silk.

-

Poe is dreaming again.

He is moaning in his sleep and Rey can’t help that the images seep into her skull, a dark figure in a dark room on a ship, whispered pleas, Poe is begging, _please, it’s me, it’s me, please, come with me don’t do this remember me you loved me you loved me -_

And Rey smoothes her hand through his hair, stroking, and whispers soothingly until he quiets, until he stills, until his breathing evens out and the dream fades.

Later he dreams of two boys in a tree, happy and laughing, and Rey must be too close because that’s her, now, though she knows she should never be in a dream like this, not one that is so clearly based in true memory. But she laughs with them and they are so joyful and peaceful and it feels like a dream that can never be, and Rey is slightly ashamed but she sinks into it, taking refuge in Poe’s head.

He wraps around her as he sleeps, nosing into her hair, and sleeps better than he does most nights.

-

Rey fights on the ground, and Poe in the sky.

Poe hates it, but he lets Rey creep inside his head for her own peace of mind, so that she can feel that he is okay, and so that if he is not…

He accepts this, and Rey accepts that when they meet again Poe is clingy and needy, touching every inch of her to reassure himself. She rolls her eyes and makes herself stay still, reminding herself that it’s just what he needs to do.

Then later they find their bed, and it all feels better.

Mostly.

-

There is a strange dearth of news about him, as though he has fallen out of the war. Poe says maybe he ran away. Rey says maybe he is doing something special and secretive for Snoke, something that they will all rue when it comes to light.

There is no way to know.

-

“Could you find him, if you tried?” Poe asks, voice low and hopeful. “Could you feel him? Like you do with me?”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Rey says, and she is sorry she can’t give Poe the answer he wants. She is even sorrier because of the way his face falls.

His heart is so big she doesn’t know how one person can contain it.

-

Poe crashes on a distant planet, a frozen planet.

Rey can _feel_ it.

She wants to take a ship, any ship, she doesn’t fucking care, Poe _needs_ her -

But she hears him whisper a name and he isn’t alone. He isn’t hurt, not really, and he isn’t alone.

When Poe comes back Rey flings herself into his arms like she’s him, desperate and clingy, and Poe lets her do it. He tells her, “He could have left me there, he could have killed me, he could have done anything.”

But if Rey believes anything it is that that will never happen.

-

_She found him in a desert, once, and maybe that was the first time, no, the second. They fought like raging animals and Rey took vicious satisfaction in striking a blow to his skull that knocked him cold._

_She would have taken him with her if she had a ship bigger than her X-wing, if she hadn’t known the stormtroopers were nearly on her._

_Instead she left him there, crumpled on the ground._

-

They have moved bases three times. Rey is so tired; she just wants this to be over.

She and Poe are apart more than they are together, but when they are together she holds him tight and longs to never let go.

She is so, so tired.

She fears it will never be over.

-

He is standing in the rain, dripping, pale, black hair plastered to his skull.

He extends his hand.

They take it.


End file.
